My main body of work is vast; this compendium seeks not only to list my favorite pieces for people to read, but to organize them into different categories and provide summaries for each.
Update, 7/16/2025: This corpus refers specifically to old blog pieces—mostly between 2020-2021—that I wrote after my master's thesis but before completing my PhD and subsequent six-volume book series, Sex Positivity versus Sex Coercion, or Gothic Communism (2023); i.e., from July 2022, onwards. Said series actually completed on June 1st, 2025 (re: "It Began with a Whisper"). This body of work also doesn't include my various research compendiums tied to said series; i.e., my research on Tolkien, Amazons (which only appear on my 18+ website), ludo-Gothic BDSM and Metroidvania, which all have their own blog pages (and promotion pages on my 18+ website). Lastly, I have since cited many of these pieces in my book series/different compendiums, and while they're a bit more basic than my later stuff, they're still foundational to what I produced from 2022, onwards!
Also, this older body of work speaks to material I produced while still in the closet; i.e., while trying to narrow and crystalize my scope of research; re: into what my book series eventually became. In other words, I still identified as straight when writing some of these pieces (any before 2020), though any from 2021 speak to a point of gender transition: where I was already identifying as a femboy (I would come out as trans on August 7th, 2022). —Perse
I've divided this compendium into five sections:
- New Introduction (from Volume Four and Five): "Older Writing (2014-2021)"
- About Me: This section includes posts I've written specifically about myself, or my areas of interest (casual or academic) and why I study them.
- Interview Series: This section details the numerous and lengthy interview series I've conducted over the years.
- Gothic Analyses: This section compiles the posts I've written that pointedly analyze Gothic themes in media.
- Reviews: This section lists some of my favorite reviews—those which I think are my best-written, or cover my favorite pieces of media.
Older Writing (2014-2021)
We encounter this kind of recursive movement throughout the game and these movements are executed alongside the recursions of the game's plot. […] The path in the labyrinth leads Theseus, regardless of its windings and regardless of the direction in which he is moving at a given time, always toward its centre. Similarly, Alucard's journey, both physical and psychological, is always ultimately pointed toward the destruction of Dracula and the rejection of his overtures [re: Aguirre's infernal concentric pattern] (source).
—Paul Martin's "Ambivalence and Recursion in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" (2011)
Our dissection of the past continues—neither my latest compendium built on said past, alone, nor the symposiums (and older videos) that continue to fuel the basic process, but further back still: to a time when I was, as Smaug might put it, "but young and tender." Despite my currently being "strong, strong, strong!" I nonetheless feel there's plenty useful from my academic past. Indeed, many of the pieces featured therein—though written while I was in the closet/not entirely sure of myself—still reflect a change in direction that was already taking place: from prince to princess, and from then to Queen of My Own Castle. In dissecting that, we may contribute to where I am now, further along, but also you, dear reader, chancing upon these dusty old relics (fragments of a great Numinous whole, above). Bumping into pieces of our older selves tied to things we worship and fear (all at once), they still have a bit of power in them. Use them to make your own castles.
(artist: Ayami Kojima)
About Me
My name is Persephone van der Waard and I'm a trans woman Marxist-feminist. I'm also a Gothic ludologist, which means I study videogames in a Gothic sense—according to horror themes in the academic disciplines as tied to the everyday social practices those disciplines (and their target media) represent. To this, I have my MA in English Studies: The Gothic; I do independent research on Gothic sexuality and Metroidvania, but also speedrunning. More generally my blog is about horror, but also sex, metal and videogames. I'm also an atheist, occasional fan editor, erotic artist, and avid Ridley Scott fan. Posts related to those topics will also be included here.
"Revisiting My Masters' Thesis on Metroidvania—Our Ludic Masters: The Dominating Game Space" (February 11th, 2021): This post summarizes my master's thesis and expands on its ideas. My thesis explored Metroidvania and Gothic spaces and how they dominate the player in a Gothic sense (through terror, tacit tutorials, and other Gothic scenarios). I've recently expanded on this idea to account for how these games dominate the player in a ludic sense. Separate from the audiovisual themes, how do Metroidvania, as games to be played, dominate players? How is this meta-narrative reinforced by the gameworld as something to experience?
"Why I Submit: A Subby Gothicist's Attitudes on Metroidvania, Mommy Doms, and Sexual Persecution" (February 19th, 2021): This post outlines my current independent research (which I hope to expand into a PhD at some point) extends Metroidvania domination into a BDSM framework—especially the relationship between the "mommy dom" (a female authority figure) and fem boy (a feminine male subject). I believe this relationship is illustrated by the player, but also the Metroidvania's signature combination of sex, danger and standard Gothic themes (fear of assault, imposter syndrome, sexual abuse, etc). I outline these themes, but also connect them to their real world counterparts.
"Sex, Metal and Videogames" (January 30th, 2021): I study horror, but have chosen, over the years, to focus on these three topics; they were a large part of my interests growing up, and continue to guide my research going forward. This post explores my introduction to them, and why I continue to devote my time and energy in exploring their Gothic potential.
"My Art Website Is Live!" (March 4th, 2020): I'm not only a writer. I'm also an erotic artist with his own website. This post explains my website—why I decided to get one, what's on it, and the style of my artwork featured there.
"Borrowed Robes: The Role of 'Chosen' Clothing — Part 1: Female Videogame Characters" (December 7th, 2020): This post is a study in sexual and gendered depictions in Gothic media; mainly how female videogame characters have been historically dressed by men, it also explores the lack of autonomy women have regarding how they are dressed. This includes female players who control sexy female videogame avatars like Chun Li and Samus Aran.
"My Least Favorite Horror Movies?" (February 7th, 2020): Failure isn't inherently bad. In this post, I discuss what I enjoy about pastiche, camp and schlock, and how failing to fail is often the worse sin a horror movie can commit.
My [Other] Book
I'm currently writing a book, Neoliberalism in Yesterday's Heroes, which touches on notions of body representation in popular American media [said book has since been discontinued, parts of it absorbed into my aforementioned book series; re: Sex Positivity].
"Sex-Positivity versus Sex-Coercion: Selling Sex, Iconoclasm, and TERFs" (July 22nd, 2022): This book chapter examines differences between sex-positivity and sex-compulsion in sexualized media. Specifically, it examines how corporations and TERFs use canonical imagery to create sexist arguments, while simultaneously condemning sex-positive artists and their own iconoclastic output.
"The Promethean Quest and James Cameron's Military Optimism in Metroid" (June 30th, 2021): Metroid is a franchise with strong ties to Alien and Aliens. Whereas Alien broaches the Promethean Quest through a neoliberal lens, Aliens embraces military optimism as a tenable solution to Promethean technology. I explore how the Metroid franchise has gradually deviated away from the Promethean Quest, and turned to military optimism in its later years. I also give my first impressions on Metroid Dread.
Interview Series
I've conducted numerous interview series over the years. Some have been passion projects, dealing with material that I simply adore; others pointedly expand into areas of research that I wish to contribute to (re: sex, metal, videogames, and horror).
"From Vintage to Retro: An FPS Q&A series" (February 9th, 2021): This Q&A series centers on power and how it's arranged in FPS between the player and the game. I interview Twitch streamers and speedrunners, but also several game developers who play and create FPS games.
"Hell-blazers: Speedrunning Doom Eternal" (April 17th, 2020): I created this series when Doom Eternal was new. It interviews Twitch streamers and speedrunners about the game and why they play it.
"Giving My Two Cents: A Metal Compendium" (December 20th, 2020): I love heavy metal, and have made a name for myself by commenting on videos by Metallica remixers on YouTube. Eventually I decided to interview these remixers in a post hoc Q&A series.
"The 'Alien: Ore' Interview Project" (May 29, 2019): My first interview series, this project centers around the Spear sisters' Alien short film, "Alien: Ore." Originally I loved "Ore" so much I did my own extensive analysis of it. Kailey and Sam Spear enjoyed that so much they agreed to be interviewed. Includes numerous interviews from the cast and crew.
Gothic Analyses
As a Gothicist, I love to view the world through a Gothic lens. This includes the Gothic analysis of media, which these posts are examples of.
"Room for Both: Horror and Social Commentary in Three Japanese Classics" (2018): This article is a three-part cross examination of three mid-20th century Japanese movies that my partner and I have watched, together, over the past four months: Hiroshi Teshigahara's Woman in the Dunes (1964), Toshio Matsumoto's Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) and Kazuo Hara's Extreme Private Eros: Love Song (1974). Part one examines the plots and technical delivery of each. Part two explores Love Song more closely. Part three describes my love for Japanese cinema.
Dreadful Discourse(June 26th, 2020): The podcast produced by my ex-partner* and I, wherein we discuss Gothic themes in media.
"Gothic Themes in Perfect Blue (1997)" (April 3rd, 2019): This post explores Gothic themes in Satoshi Kon's Perfect Blue. Meant to convey feelings of madness, how are they used, here, and how do they manifest for the viewer in a Gothic sense?
"Is Garfield (1978-present) Gothic?" (May 14th, 2019): This post explores Garfield the cat and how he's become increasingly parodied over the years—in particular, the more horror-themed examples being created across the internet by "fans."
"Gothic Content in The Terminator/T2" (May 9th, 2019): This post outlines the Gothic material present in James Cameron's The Terminator and T2. Part one outlines their shared, broader themes, while part two and part three details their Gothic audiovisual elements.
"Gothic Themes in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, the trailer (2019)" (March 29th, 2019): In this post, I explore how Stephen Gammell's monstrous imagery has been recycled in the 2019 trailer for Scary Stories. I also examine how this recycling occurs across generations to convey evolving social stances on what scary imagery can even stand for (depending on the audience).
"Gothic Themes in Love, Death & Robots" (March 27th, 2019): I highlight the Gothic themes explored in these LDR episodes: "Helping Hand," "Good Hunting," "Beyond the Aquila Rift," and "Sonnie's Edge."
Old Reviews
These are some of my favorite reviews that I've written over the years.
"The Darkest Dungeon (2016): The Countess" (June 30th, 2018): Not a review so much as a detailed recollection of my final encounter with Countess during the "Crimson Court" DLC (for Red Hook's excellent The Darkest Dungeon). A hell of a scrap!
"'80s Popcorn Love: An Ion Fury Review" (March 24th, 2021): My review for Ion Fury (2019), the FPS developed by Voidpoint and published by 3D Realms. The review focuses on the game's level design and gunplay.
"Mandy (2018): Review" (January 10th, 2019): In my review for Panos Cosmatos' Mandy, I examine the trope of heroic revenge borrowed from movies like Unforgiven, The Crow and Conan the Barbarian.
"Chernobyl (2019) review" (2020—since unpublished by Blogger for "hate speech"?): In my review for HBO's acclaimed drama, I explain how I was able to enjoy the show as a Gothic drama despite its (admittedly deliberate) scientific inaccuracies.
Green Room and Murder Party: I love Jeremy Saulnier. These reviews not only celebrate him and his work; they praise his long-time associate Macon Blair, a kick-ass director in his own right who often stars in Saulnier's movies.
