This interview is for "Hailing Hellions," a Q&A series where I interview sex workers (or ex-sex workers) who have modeled for me and my Sex Positivity* book project. Today's guest is Goddess Asterin! This is the SFW version; click here for the SFW-version interview compendium!
*The longer title being Sex Positivity versus Sex Coercion, or Gothic Communism: Liberating Sex Work under Capitalism through Iconoclastic Art (2023). Part of an overarching movement that connects sex positivity to what I call "Gothic (gay-anarcho) Communism," Sex Positivity essentially provides a hybrid; i.e., one established between academic (Gothic, queer, game and Marxist) theories, and wherein applied theory towards universal liberation is achieved by challenging Capitalist Realism (the inability to imagine a world beyond Capitalism) at a grassroots level. To it, Gothic Communism specifically occurs through direct mutual worker action and informed intersectional solidarity relayed through Gothic poetics: BDSM, monsters, and kink, but specifically what I call "ludo-Gothic BDSM."
If you're curious about the book and want to know more, the first four volumes (and additional information) are available for free (the series is non-profit) on my website's 1-page promo (a copy-paste for said promo is available on this blog and provides the same information, except it features SFW images to account for Blogger's automated censorship).
General CW: BDSM, Gothic content and theatrics (e.g., rape play and death theatre), as well as sex worker abuse and bigotry of various kinds (variable per interview).
Note: All images are of the model or myself unless otherwise stated.
About the series: Like the book series it attaches to, "Hailing Hellions" aims to educate and critique; i.e., by raising awareness towards sex worker rights, but also gender-non-conformity through Gothic counterculture. This extends to gender identity (e.g., trans, enby or intersex) but also orientation and performance; i.e., BDSM and sex positivity through various Gothic theatrical roles that invite things beyond vanilla, heteronormative (thus conservative, reactionary and harmful) sexuality. I would consider this to be things like mommy dommes and consent-non-consent, breeding fantasies and heavy metal (e.g., Satanic material and the Gothic at large). Also, these questions are broader insofar as they cover wide praxial/poetic ideas and concepts. Regarding these, the opinions of the subject and myself are not identical, but often overlap through us collaborating together to raise awareness.
About the interviewee: Asterin is someone I met on Bluesky while looking to continue working with SWers after my book series concluded (re: "It Began with a Whisper," 2025). In short, I saw her work recently, liked it, and decided to reach out; she responded, and we went from there!
A note from Asterin before we start: Hi everyone! My name is (Goddess) Asterin, I'm really excited to be a part of this work and extremely thankful for Persephone for spreading the word of sex positivity, sexual liberation and how this relates to Gothic Communism. As far as who I am, I find it truly hard to fit myself into any particular box, so with that being said I'll do what you'll find me doing on my socials: word vomiting whatever comes to mind about me.
0. Persephone: Hi, everyone! My name is Persephone van der Waard. I'm a trans-woman erotic artist, sex worker, writer/author and researcher who specializes in cross-media studies; i.e., I have my independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania).
Asterin, could you introduce yourself and share a little about yourself with our audience?
Asterin: Again, hi, I'm Asterin, I've lapped the sun 34 times, I now consider myself queer but when I first came out, I stuck with bisexual (again, I hate those pesky boxes). In my down time I am an avid reader—I crochet, practice Wicca, spend time with people I hold dear to me, paint and tend to my plants. I'm an alt girlie to my core, lover of Halloween and all kinds of music (I call myself "polyjamorous," and you'll rarely find me not listening to music—it's how I stay grounded). I also enjoy baking and appreciating the stars and moon.
1. Persephone: This book project views sex positivity as a liberating act. What does sex positivity mean to you? Illustrating mutual consent; i.e., can porn illustrate mutual consent when sex workers are constantly dehumanized by the profit motive and the status quo?
Asterin: To me, this means that sex is not shameful, dirty or bad; it is a natural act and enjoying it is normal and not a bad thing—people have the right to explore their sexuality freely, consensually and safely—but it also means respecting others' choices. Not everyone has the same wants or needs sexually and that's okay.
In theory, porn can show mutual consent when done by indie and ethical porn creators and they make this a priority, but in practice it doesn't always happen because the porn industry has a profit motive; i.e., the idea that women and marginalized bodies are objectified, workers may feel pressured to do things to stay booked or paid, the director and audience have more power than the SWer. Mainstream porn fails to illustrate mutual consent due to greed, wherein SWers are indie and [working under constraint]. [In practice, t]here is no invalid way to have sex [so long as consent is respected. W]hether that be queer, kinky, vanilla, casual, monogamous, etc, as long as all parties are consenting.
2. Persephone: In your mind, what is the biggest struggle facing sex workers today?
Asterin: Sexism. Sexism is truly the root cause of most of the issues SWers face. The immediate invalidation of someone being worth anything, when it comes to light, [is] they are a SWer. We see it all the time on social media; i.e., the phrase, "OF detected, opinion rejected." SWers are immediately marked as "less than." This is becoming even more prevalent with how personal beliefs and religious ideas are bleeding into politics once again. The growing, sexist belief that sex is for procreation and/or for a man's pleasure leads to so many issues. The blame for SW gets put onto women when the largest consumers are [actually] men, [and] is [a] deflection and way sexism [works; i.e.,] rules are things due to being able to place the blame on those that found a way to make profit. It is the men purchasing [who attack women] as if they are incapable of work/payment] as a person.
3. Persephone: How do you feel about sex work being work, thus paying sex workers for their labor? This can be unions, but also their representations in media at large.
Asterin: I grew up in Nevada, the only state [where] SW is legal, and while it is limited to certain counties and to licensed brothels, I was aware of them and it wasn't a taboo thing. While there can be negative things that come from the brothels (unfair pay, dangerous treatment from those that run said brothels), I grew up with the belief and saying, "prostitution is the oldest profession." And that, with it always being prevalent, it should be considered as work. There will always be a demand for it, those to supply it, and having unions would greatly increase not just income for those that are SWers, but also set up safe conditions for them to do so.
4. Persephone: What are your thoughts on Communism vs Capitalism using Gothic poetics? Can monsters be gay Commies?
Asterin: I break it down like this: Capitalism is Dracula: rich, pale, lives off others, refuses to die. Communism is Mary Shelley: imaginative, mournful, stitched from grief and hope.
5a. Persephone: What drew you to the project/interested you in working on it together with me?
Asterin: After you approached me, I did some digging on what your work entailed, read through some of the articles you linked on BSKY and (as any good SWer does) I vetted you through some of our mutuals I saw you worked with, as well.
After reading through your work, and seeing your art, I knew this was something I wanted to be a part of. This is important information to get out there—not just in the SW community, but more importantly [to] those not in it. It is done in a creative way that will draw people in and get them to expand their ways of thinking.
5b. Persephone: How has that experience been for you? Can you describe it a little?
Asterin: It has been a very fun experience. It's not like anything I've done before so not only did it help me get over some jitters I have around customs (and how I tend to be a perfectionist with content), but also reminded me why I enjoy doing this. You are not only insanely patient and wonderful in directing what you need for a shot, but you are also a joy to talk to, which all around made this experience wonderful.
7. Persephone: What do you enjoy most about sex work? What got you started in it?
Asterin: I enjoy the freedom to create. I love all forms of art and I see my SW as another medium I partake in. Once I get that spark to do something, I have to shoot it and bring it to life. I don't remember the exact thing that got me started in it; it could be a multitude of things, such as my journey [towards the] radical acceptance of who I am and what I look like, [but also:] that I've always been sex-positive and enjoy brining the joy of sexual pleasure to others, and [that] I started heavily leaning into my domme side and wanted to explore that more. This also helped me build a lot more confidence than I knew was possible for me.
8. Persephone: Do you have a favorite piece of sex work that you've done, in terms of custom material?
Asterin: I truly wouldn't be able to narrow down a favorite piece of work that I've done. All [the] work I've done is a piece of me, essentially puzzle pieces. I wouldn't be my whole self without each one and to pick one would require me to view other parts as less than or put me into a box of, "this is my favorite, this is me," and we know how I feel about boxes.
9. Persephone: Do you friends and family know about the work that you do? How do you talk about it with other people who aren't sex workers; i.e., how do you communicate sex worker rights to non sex workers?
Asterin: Some of my family know I do this, and most of my friends are aware, as well. I talk about it plainly [in order] to be honest. I explain what it is I do, what I enjoy about it, the community and friends I've gained through this, and how I enjoy exploring this part of myself. When it comes to communicating sex worker rights to them, I break it down in terms or examples [they] would understand: There's a demand, and we meet it. Just like actors get paid to perform, or artists were commissioned to carve nude statues of gods, people pay for access to intimacy, fantasy, and desire. There is no difference from paying to see a movie, scrolling through OF, or walking through a museum of erotic marble bodies. The only real difference is stigma.
10. Persephone: What are your thoughts on TERFs in sex work; i.e., those who devalue GNC minorities (and other marginalized groups) in the same profession?
Asterin: It's a problem. To act as though they're fighting for women, but they're excluding anyone who doesn't fit into their narrow idea of what a "real woman" is, especially trans women and GNC folks. "Real women" are just women, point, blank, period. *No Boxes* It's not feminism, it's just control and it is so very harmful. If your version of "empowerment" throws people under the bus, it is not empowerment; it's just cruelty with "pretty" branding.
11. Persephone: How do you feel about billionaires? Israel and Palestine?
Asterin: I stand firmly with the oppressed. I see through the propaganda, and I know the difference between resistance and genocide. I believe you cannot be neutral about apartheid, ethnic cleansing or stolen land, and I don't see the "complexities" when children are being bombed and starved, journalists are silenced, and entire peoples are displaced. You're either on the right side of history or the wrong side.
I had a fascination with WWII history growing up. [Regarding all the] papers I wrote in school, if I could frame it around the atrocities of the Nazis—but also the Holocaust, and what happens when people stay silent until it's too late [and what that historically leads] to—then I would. I also know Antizionist ≠ Antisemitic. I felt for the Jewish, POC, LGBTQ+, Disabled, Polish, Roma, and Soviet POW communities that experienced The Holocaust, [meaning] the same way I feel for Palestinians, today. I will always stand for the oppressed.
The only good billionaire is a dead one. That's really all I have to say about them.
12a. Persephone: What are some of your favorite GNC pieces of media (e.g., I love Sense8 and Heartbreak High)? Do you have any GNC role models?
Asterin: Oh, I LOVED Sense8 and was one of those that cried when we originally [were] not going to get the ending we deserved. It is truly my fav GNC media; it was beautifully done and now I must go rewatch because I'm getting chills just thinking about that show.
13. Persephone: What about sex workers? Do you have anyone you look up to in particular?
Asterin: I'd say I look up to all of my friends I've made through SW. Their resilience, strength and courage to be unapologetically themselves is beautiful, and I am undeniably thankful to be surrounded by these people.
14. Persephone: There's often a strong theatrical component to sex work and BDSM; i.e., costumes, gender roles, aesthetics of power and death, music, makeup. How do these things intersect for you, and do they cross over into real life for you? For example, do you find yourself wearing similar clothing and expressing yourself sex-positively when you're not on the clock?
Asterin: A majority of the outfits I shoot in are things I wear in real life. The lingerie doesn't see much daylight, but the shirts showing sex positivity, makeup, hairstyles—those are all normal clothes for me to wear daily.
15. Persephone: There's often an animal component to sexuality and gender expression, helping workers establish close bonds with each other and nature; i.e., furries, but also therians and various kinks; e.g., puppy play. How do you feel about these things, be they for work, pleasure, or both?
Asterin: I believe furries and those that partake in pet play should be able to do so without discrimination. I personally only enjoy pet play if that is a kink of a submissive of mine; i.e., primarily because I'm a pleasure domme, so I get pleasure out of them enjoying themselves more [than] the actual pet play [taking place].
That doesn't mean I think any less of it; it's just not my kink. I do enjoy watching others feel free to express themselves in those kinks and find pleasure in them.
16. Persephone: Sex workers are generally treated as monsters to harm and exploit under capital. Do you have a preferred way of expressing the humanity of sex workers, be that simply stating it or through the work that you do, art, or some combination, etc?
Asterin: I like to think I express the humanity of sex workers when I just freely post thoughts I have, beliefs, or how I interact with others on social media. Not everything is performative, and I show who I am as a person to hopefully get the message out to the masses: that we are still people that do good things and protect others from dangerous situations or [abusers].
17. Persephone: Do you have a particular aspect of liberation you like to focus on; e.g., fat liberation or decriminalizing sex work? To that, what's the difference between positive thinking and liberation in your eyes?
Asterin: Liberation is a choice, a commitment and a fight. For me, it seems to be fat liberation lately because I've been trying to get people to see through the lies they were taught about when it comes to their body, their worth, and their power. Positive thinking is a start, but it's fragile. You can say, "I'm beautiful" in the mirror all day, and then crumble later when the world punishes you for taking up space, being visible, or existing outside of their idea of what's "desirable."
Liberation is different. It's not about being liked; it's about being unbothered. It's when you stop asking for permission to feel good in your body—is knowing your body and your joy are sacred, even when society tries to shame you about it.
Note: While fat liberation is a theme in my larger book series, it comes up in bits and pieces. For a good essay that focus on fat liberation versus white moderacy, doctor abuse and fatphobia (among other vectors of oppression), consider reading "White Moderates Don’t Challenge Fascism: Critiquing Solomon Nelson" (2025).
18a. Persephone: How do you feel about BDSM and using calculated risk to confront and heal from trauma? I.e., using collars or whips to experience pain or control as pleasurable, not harmful (I love collars, for instance).
Asterin: I think it can be really beneficial, if SSC, RACK, PRICK & CCCC are utilized while partaking in it. CNC can help those that have been SA'd in the past reclaim their power (and please only attempt this when you have deep trust, experience and support from your play partner. [Nor should there be] negotiations on aftercare, in this kink; it is an absolute must). Collars are wonderful for those that have never felt like they have belonged or wanted, and impact play can release endorphins and reconnect someone to their physical self (especially after dissociation).
19. Persephone: Does expressing yourself in a dehumanized BDSM position (e.g., CNC or living latex, etc) or state of existence speak to your humanity as something to value?
Asterin: I like to think of it as a form of "shadow work" I do; i.e., it helps me explore my mind and any form of trauma that may be lingering so I can work on it, and it helps me connect with my play partner in expressing what I felt [during play] or learned about myself during aftercare sessions. It is also something I enjoy as a domme to help my submissive through the same experience.
20. Persephone: What got you interested in BDSM? Do you have a preference in terms of what you give or receive?
Asterin: I have been interested in it for so long that I could not pinpoint what actually led me into really diving in. I primarily domme when it comes to just play partners, but I am a switch and can be submissive; i.e., if I truly trust my partner and we've broken down any walls I may have had that keeps me from reaching subspace.
When I'm domming, my favorite play is overstimulation and post-orgasm torture. It's the pleasure domme in me, and I enjoy watching submissives push back [against] what they originally thought were their limits.
21. Persephone: In your mind, is BDSM inherently sexual? If so or if not, can you explain why?
Asterin: I do not believe it is inherently sexual. It's about power, trust and deep connection. Sure it can be sexual, but it can also be emotional, spiritual, or even healing.
22. Persephone: Does BDSM inform the sex work that you do in an educational or therapeutic way?
Asterin: I would say it informs the way I approach sex work—not just in the content I create, but in the care, ethics, and my intention behind it. I'm not just here to look hot while holding a crop (though I obviously do); I'm also here to bring attention to safe kink and how important RACK, PRICK, and SSC are because I believe it can help model consent/power exchanges and be healing when done right.
23. Persephone: In terms of calculated risk, how does it feel to surrender some degree of power in a scenario where you can't actually be harmed? Or vice versa, if you have more power? Do you have a preference and if so, why?
Asterin: I'm a switch, I live on both ends of that surrender.
When I do sub, it's because I'm a control freak in every aspect of my life. Oldest daughter syndrome, cursed to take care of everyone else and put others first. To be able to let go in a space—one where I know I'm safe—is one of the only ways I actually feel held. It's not weakness, it's just a relief.
When I domme, I get to offer that same safety to someone else. Watching someone fully relax into submission, knowing they can't be harmed and that I am controlling the scene—that's powerful. That's very intimate for me.
24. Persephone: If you feel comfortable answering, can theatrical disempowerment feel healing or therapeutic to you in regards to real trauma?
Asterin: Yes, 100%.
As stated previously, having a lifetime of caretaking [means] I have spent years ignoring my own needs and pushing through. So when I get a chance to submit in a safe, consensual scene, it becomes a release. I'm not actually helpless, but I get to feel what it's like to be cared for, to let go, to not be responsible for everyone else. That's rare for me, and it's deeply sacred.
As a domme, guiding someone through that same kind of surrender lets me flip the script. I get to create a space where they get to feel unburdened, held and fully seen, maybe in a way they have never been able to before. There's something so intimate about helping someone explore that moment: of dropping their walls and feeling empowered from it.
25. Persephone: What's the most stressful thing about sex work? The most liberating?
Asterin: Most stressful for me is when my executive dysfunction comes into play; i.e., having to push past that and do the things I need to do, but having absolutely zero desire to do it. Liberating would be me creating what I want to create, dictating how I look and what content I put out. I get to be me, unapologetically, and it's really freeing being able to show that side of me.
26. Persephone: What are the benefits to doing sex work in today's day an age versus in the past? What do you think needs to improve; e.g., open reactionary bigots versus moderate SWERFs posturing as feminists speaking for all groups?
Asterin: I'd say a benefit is that it's easier to build a community. We have access to all these forms of communication where we can lean on each other and help each other grow. It also helps us [be able to communicate, thus get] the word out about scammers, unsafe people, and time wasters.
As far as improvement [goes], there's so many things to list. There will always be bigots, SWERFs, [and all-around] toxic people out there, but in regards to [dealing with] them it's the power they have when it comes to limiting people that are SWers (e.g., Fansly changing their TOS due to those in power at Mastercard and their biases). As a community, though, we can do better in using any privilege we have to uplift the marginalized. Too often are CIS white women constantly promoted by other CIS white women, when we could be pushing for followers to look at our BIPOC and trans creators that have a harder time getting seen.
(artist: pixmilk)
27a. Persephone: What are your favorite monsters (i.e., undead, demons, and or anthromorphs) and why?
Asterin: Man, there are so many to choose from and so many that aren't actually monsters but are portrayed that way!
I'd probably go with witches, Medusa or sirens.
Witches are power from pain, wisdom from exile; they can channel the Earth without draining it [and] don't need saving. They're strong on their own and unstoppable when they come together.
Medusa was wronged, feared and turned into a monster due to the Patriarchy (regardless of which lore you believe: Athena turning her due to rage and punishment or to protect Medusa*). I find Medusa to be so strong—a symbol of rage and divine justice.
Sirens use their feminine power wrapped up in sweetness and death. Being able to lure in men with their voice alone, and then smile as they watch men drown—there's some beauty in that**.
*Note: For a good essay on that exact history, refer to "Always a Victim" from my Demon Module (2025). —Perse
**Cuphead (2017) actually combines the gorgon and siren myth, Cala Maria having a "kawaii" siren form and "kowai" gorgon form (effectively expressing happy/furious, virgin/whore, etc). —Perse
(exhibit 23a [from Volume One's "The Basics of Oppositional Synthesis," 2024]: Artist, top left: Yneddt; bottom-right: unknown; middle: Drawingfreak77. Medusa is an ancient, “phallic” [androgynous] form of the monstrous-feminine, one that that needs to remain conscious lest older waves of feminism triangulate her against new inclusive movements trying to camp the canon...)
27b. Persephone: Media-wise, do you like to read, watch movies, and or play videogames just for fun, but also to gather ideas about gender-non-conformity expression, BDSM and other sex-positive devices?
Asterin: I do read, play games and watch shows for fun. Not many of them, besides Sense8, dive into GNC, BDSM or other sex positivity in a way I follow. (I'll read smut, but I do not agree with how BDSM and sex positivity is depicted in those.)
28. Persephone: What are your thoughts on sex/porn and art, business and pleasure? I like to mix them to form healthier boundaries established between workers; how do you feel about this?
Asterin: In the world of sex work, I do not mind mixing business and pleasure. But in regards to my vanilla life, I keep those completely separate. I went 13 years without even flirting with a co-worker because I do not have the bandwidth to deal with people and the drama that comes from mixing the two!
Pro-tip: Never date anyone at work (unless your work is sex work and you're able to communicate your boundaries ahead of time; e.g., Cuwu and I). —Perse
(artist: Persephone van der Waard and Cuwu)
31. Persephone: I view sex work as an important means of de facto (extracurricular) education; i.e., entertainment, but also a means of humanizing people within the practice at large. How do you feel about this? Can we learn from art and porn as a means of humanizing marginalized groups?
Asterin: Absolutely. Sex work is a form of education, whether people admit it or not. We teach boundaries, consent, pleasure, power dynamics, identity and even emotional regulation.
Art and porn have always reflected society, but they can also shape* it. When marginalized folks are centered on their own terms, it disrupts the narrative we've been spoon-fed. A fat body being desired, a trans body being worshipped—it's not just representation. That, in a sense, is reprogramming.
The only way that works, though, is when the people creating the art or the porn are treated with humanity.
*Note: Vis-à-vis Marx' Superstructure. —Perse
(exhibit 0b [from Volume Zero's "On Twin Trees," 2023]: Propaganda; that which, Rana Indrajit Singh writes, normally "grows out of the base and the ruling class' interests. As such, the superstructure justifies how the base operates and defends the power of the elite" [source: "Base and Superstructure Theory," 2013]—"normally" being the operative word, here. This book isn't really a fan of what's "normal" because "normal" for the status quo is bourgeois. Gotta camp that shit. For example, Nazis are "normal" and serve the elite. We must camp them and, like Mel Brooks, make them not just abnormal, but paranormal, too. This oppositional praxis extends to heroic canon; e.g., fostering ironic gender trouble and parody by imagining "Conan with a pussy" or gay hobbits [two favorite examples of mine that we will refer to or imitate in other monstrous forms constantly throughout this book].)
32. Persephone: I value establishing mutual trust, healthy communication and boundary formation/negotiation and respect, seeing them to be the most vital qualities in any relationship. Do you agree, and if so, why?
Asterin: I definitely agree.
There is no relationship of any kind, truly, if there's a lack of trust, open communication and respecting each other's boundaries. Anyone that cares for you, or anyone that you care for, would value all of that.
If they don't, that's not a friendship, partnership, [or] relationship worth having.
Note: An example of that in my own life being my ex/abuser, Jadis; e.g.,
33. Persephone: How do you orient and what are your thoughts on polyamory insofar as it affects your work? For the layperson/uninitiated, how would you describe the difference between a fuck buddy/FWB and other more casual relationships versus serious ones? Can people be friends and still have sex in a casual manner? What is the most valuable aspect of a friendship regardless if sex is a part of the equation or not?
Asterin: If I go into full detail about how I feel regarding all [these] questions, I will be writing pages. So I will try to keep it as short and sweet as possible.
Polyamory/ENM isn't just a part of my work, it's a part of my life. When I try to explain how it works to those with nuclear-family mindsets, I break it down into something that makes sense to them. Usually the cheese example works: you love cheese, you love all types of cheese for different reasons. Cream cheese on your bagel, American on your grilled cheese, cheddar on your burgers, but you don't love one cheese more than the other—you love them all for different reasons and alternate [the] flavors they give you depending on what you need/want for your meal. Same thing goes for being poly.
I'd say a FWB is just that—someone that's friend that you hook-up with, no intentions of anything deeper developing, whereas casual relationships or serious ones have, typically, the end goal of some long term commitment. It's possible to be FWBs as long as the boundaries remain and feelings don't develop that can put the friendship at risk. Some of us are truly capable of separating feelings from sex, so for us [it's] not unusual to have FWBs.
For me, the most valuable aspect of a friendship is trust. If I cannot trust someone, I have no reason to keep them in my life.
34. Persephone: If you have a partner, do they know about the work that you do? How comfortable are they with it?
Asterin: Yes I have a partner, and yes he's aware of what I do.
He is very comfortable with it, and he even has his own pages he posts on as well. We do some stuff together and some stuff separate.
(artist: Man of Your Nitemares)
35. Persephone: How did you and your partner meet? What do you think makes an ideal partner?
Asterin: We joke and say we met by "being whores online," because I was doing SW and he was thirst trapping/showing off his mask kink and his junk on BSKY (it's show-off worthy, trust me*).
Ideal partner: someone I can trust. To me, all relationships come back to trust. I carry a lot, I take care of a lot of people—so I have to know I can lean on my partners when I need to, and that they know they can lean on me when they need to. It's a partnership, and I have to know that we can do that for one another.
36. Persephone: What advice would you give incels, nice guys and other cis-het men (or token groups; e.g., TERFs and cis-queer tokens, etc) displaying bigoted attitudes towards women and other marginalized groups?
Asterin: I don't want to waste breath on those that won't listen, because they won't unless it's coming from another person like them.
So all I have to say to them is shut up, touch some grass and leave your echo chamber. Maybe read a book.
(artist: Man of Your Nitemares)
37. Persephone: Likewise, what advice would you give to more privileged groups that need to understand the value of listening to those more oppressed than them in a larger struggle for liberation?
Asterin: Don't be selfish and self-centered. Truly look at what you were handed that other people have to fight tooth and nail for. And listen to them when they tell us how we can better humanity for them, for future generations, and for us: to [all] be better people [while recognizing different degrees of privilege and oppression].
39. Persephone: Similarly, for those thinking about doing sex work for the first time, where is a good place to start with that; i.e., what advice would you give to those starting out based on your own experiences?
Asterin: Listen to the people that tell you this is going to be hard, it's going to be tough, and make you question a lot about yourself and your self-worth. It's not a "get rich quick" scheme; it is vastly oversaturated with creators vs subscribers.
Find someone willing to mentor you (that shares your values and ideas), and just accept that it IS WORK.
40a1. Persephone: What's your idea of the perfect date? The ideal fuck? Do you have an ideal experience of either you'd like to share?
Asterin: April 25th, because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket! [Joking aside,] I don't like to think of "the perfect" anything, because then it leads to disappointment when it doesn't go exactly as planned. I believe any time you get to spend with your partner or someone new—learning more about them and just having fun—is a successful date.
As far as [the] ideal fuck, same thing. Passionate lovemaking is great; fucking out anger is great; laughing hysterically because bodies make funny noises (or you're just having a giggle fit) is so much fun. It all comes down to just enjoying it. Stop trying to perfect it; stop trying to make some movie-scene-worthy date or fuck; just live in the moment.
(artist: Goddess Asterin and Man of Your Nitemares)
40a2. Persephone: What's your wildest/most enjoyable sexual encounter (e.g., sex in public, in the kitchen while the roomies are home, etc)?
Asterin: I've done so many wild sexual encounters, they're all enjoyable for their own reason.
I guess one that would probably shock people the most is a whole weekend of sex. Truly from Friday night till Sunday morning, we stopped only to drink water, eat or take a nap. It was probably over 24hrs of fucking. It only stopped when I finally completely dried out. I just love sex, I really do. I've got way too high of a libido so I'm just thankful whenever I get to have sex until like an hour later when I'm ready for more.
40b. Persephone: For you, what's the cutest thing a partner can do, in bed or out? For example, my partner Bay loves it when new partners come really fast/are having their first time PIV with Bay. Consent, intimacy and affection are all really sexy and fun for Bay. How about you?
Asterin: My partner puts lotion on my feet every night. He paid attention to [me] when I said I'm a fanatic about using lotion, especially on my feet. It's just really cute because we get to relax right before bed and have a little bit of non-sexual intimacy. I think it's adorable and I love it.
41a. Persephone: Does fucking to music, roleplay and other theatrical elements make sex better?
Asterin: I wouldn't say better. It can be a good addition though! Sex can be vanilla (ergo quiet) and still be good. It truly depends on the mood you're going for, is all.
43. Persephone: Connections between sex workers and clients is often discrete under capital. Can a degree of friendship and intimacy make for a better relationship between the two?
Asterin: I'd say so in the one aspect of SW that has to do with BDSM: having a degree of friendship and intimacy makes scenes for both parties better. [In other words, t]here's that form of trust built between the two, and it makes it easier to navigate what works and doesn't work for each other. If we have a certain level of connection, I can better anticipate how a sub will react to certain sensations, and anticipate what level of aftercare they will need.
44. Persephone: For people struggling with gender expectations like being the right size or pleasing one's partner and enjoying oneself, is there anything you might recommend?
Asterin: Just constantly communicate with them. Without open communication, you can never truly know how the other person is feeling. And vice versa, they won't know what you're enjoying or not. Check in after you're intimate and see how everyone feels about what you did.
45. Persephone: How does it feel being your true self, despite the risks of gay panic and similar moral panics in America and around the world?
Asterin: It feels great, and ridiculously freeing. It's a weight off my shoulders to be who I always knew I was meant to be and to hopefully lead others to live their own truth in who they are. The horrors of the world persist, but so must we.
46. Persephone: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, and also for working on Sex Positivity with me. If people want to follow you, where can they follow you and support what you do?
Asterin: I really appreciate working with you on this. If anyone is interested in finding me, my main use of media is on BSKY, under GoddessAsterinxo (and all my links are in a link tree under my bio).
About the Author
Persephone van der Waard is the author of the multi-volume, non-profit book series, Sex Positivity—its art director, sole invigilator, illustrator and primary editor (the other co-writer/co-editor being Bay Ryan). Persephone has her independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing partially on Metroidvania), and is a MtF trans woman, Tolkien and Amazon enthusiast, anti-fascist, atheist/Satanist, poly/pan kinkster, erotic artist/pornographer and anarcho-Communist with two partners. Including multiple playmates/friends and collaborators, Persephone and her many muses work/play together on Sex Positivity and on her artwork at large as a sex-positive force. That being said, she still occasionally writes reviews, Gothic analyses, and interviews for fun on her old blog (and makes YouTube videos talking about politics). To purchase illustrated or written material from Persephone (thus support the work she does), please refer to her commissions page for more information. Any money Persephone earns through commissions goes towards helping sex workers through the Sex Positivity project; i.e., by paying costs and funding shoots, therefore raising awareness. Likewise, Persephone accepts donations for the project, which you can send directly to her PayPal, Ko-Fi, Patreon or CashApp. Every bit helps!
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